Couples Therapy
It is so rare that we already have the skills to communicate effectively, resolve conflict, and repair the disconnect. It is normal to need some guidance, tools, and support in figuring it out. You don't have to wait for things to get "bad enough", build resentment, and go to couples therapy as a last resort. Whether you've been together for a while, are navigating change as a couple, or are in the early stages of your relationship, I can support you both.
Themes in Couples Therapy
Conflict and Communication
Sometimes it's that simple - we need some help saying the things we want to say and truly understanding the things we hear. Simple but not easy - lots can get in the way of that. I can support you through such barriers as emotional flooding, defensiveness, backed-up resentment, perceived lack of emotional safety, and "too-much- or not-enough-ness".
Getting Through Hardship
Sometimes we hurt the ones we love, even when we don't mean to. Sometimes our loved ones are hurt by others or life itself. It's ok to need some help navigating that. If both of you are willing to give healing your relationship a go, we will co-create safety, differentiate intent from impact, work on reestablishing trust, and bring in accountability.
Improving
Intimacy and Connection
It's common for couples to go through periods of time where one or both partners are dissatisfied with the quality or quantity of emotional, intellectual, or physical intimacy. It is a great idea to address this challenge early on, and Couples Therapy is a safe space for that. Together, we can figure out the reasons for the disconnect and what needs to happen to repair it.
Defining Your Relationship
Your relationship doesn't fit a cookie-cutter? Welcome to the club! Every human is different, and so are all relationships. I can help you both get clear about what you want from your relationship, what you are willing and able to give, and what structure and support is needed for your relationship to flourish.
When is the right time to start Couples Therapy?
There's a common socio-cultural myth that couples therapy is a last resort - something you turn to when the relationship is already on the brink. In reality, couples often wait too long before seeking help - sometimes years after problems first appear. By that point, patterns of resentment, disconnection, and hurt can be deeply entrenched, making the work harder and longer than it needs to be. A miscommunication that happens once is much easier to address than the same dynamic repeated tens of times over the years.
That said, if your relationship is in a painful place right now, it's not too late either. I work with couples at all stages - from those who want to strengthen an already good relationship, to those who are struggling to find their way back to each other, and those who are trying to figure out whether staying together is right for them.
Some Logistics to Consider
Session Structure
For our first meeting, I ask that you book a 75-minute session so that we have enough time to go over your individual and relationship history, identify areas of growth, strengths, and goals. After our initial session, I will invite each of you to a one-time 50-minute individual session so I can establish more in-depth context for each of you. While the individual sessions are highly recommended, they are optional because I recognize that your resources can be limited. After that, we'll meet again together, whether you prefer 50-minutes or 75-minutes.
Confidentiality in Couples Therapy
All of the same principles of privacy and confidentiality apply in couples therapy as in individual work - what is shared in session stays between us, with the same limited exceptions outlined in the FAQ section.
There is one important addition worth knowing upfront: when working with couples, I do not hold one partner's secrets. If significant information, such as an active affair, an addiction, or an untreated mental health condition, were shared with me privately, keeping that secret would compromise my ability to work fairly and effectively with both of you. For couples therapy to be meaningful, it needs to be built on a foundation of honesty between all people in the room, including me.
This doesn't mean there's no room for nuance or complexity - it means that if something like this comes up, we'll navigate it together openly rather than around it.
Session Notes in Couples Therapy
The same approach to record-keeping applies in couples therapy as in individual work - brief, professional notes maintained securely for continuity of care. Where things work a little differently is around access. Because the record belongs to both partners jointly, all participants must consent before anyone can access the full record. If only one partner requests access, they are entitled to their own information and any general themes discussed — but not to information that is specific to the other partner.